Day 5 - Sabbath Rest

Elusive Harmony

For Shabbat, Chanania and Amiel went to their third cousins in Elad (Gurevitz, mentioned previously), which they enjoyed immensely.  That means I had only three kids at home, the two eldest and Noam.  Binyamin and Avigail have, for the past many months, developed a very hostile attitude toward one another.  They're constantly looked for ways to heckle each other, and the heckling frequent degrades into physical violence.  It's quite annoying for everyone around, but fortunately Avigail is very busy with extracurricular activities, youth movement and friends, so she's not in the house so much.  Spending Shabbat with just the two of them (Noam doesn't have much of a presence, and goes to bed very early), I thought, might be a good opportunity for reconciliation, both because I wouldn't be preoccupied by the demands of many younger siblings, and because when there are only more mature personas present, it creates a different atmosphere with clear expectations not to behave like little immature brats.  Well, in the end I was not entirely let down.  I had a chance to talk with them about how maybe it's time to give up on all the bickering, because it's pointless, fruitless, and nobody enjoys it, etc.  And there were also long stretches during the day when they were both home, not fighting, and sometimes even interacting in a friendly manner.  But most of the time they were still at each other's throats...

The Haven for Temporary Single Parents

All week long, I've had very little opportunity for real interaction with other adults.  All day long I'm interfacing with children, computer screens, and the occasional piece of parchment.  So after they all went to bed on Friday night, I popped over to my friend Nir's house, just to hang out.  When I walked in the door, I saw a whole crowd of children settling in on mattresses on the living room floor, getting ready to have a big sleepover party.  I immediately identified half the children as belonged to close friends of theirs, the Gabbais.  A moment later, the foreign children's mother emerged from a room, but their father was nowhere to be seen.  It was then explained to me that he had to travel to the US on business for 10 days, and Sharon (the mother of the children) didn't like to be alone, so she was spending Shabbat with them.  The two of were in the same situation, and we both gravitated to the same friends to seek solace! 

Here's Nir off to the right, in a musical/spoken voice show he put together two years ago, just some things he needed to get out of his system.  He's not a professional musician, but rather a soundman, electrician, carpenter, and general handyman.

What You Do When Your Spouse is Away

I used organic spelt matza instead of lasagna noodles.
It was cheaper and easier to prepare, while giving nearly the same
texture and flavor.

When we got married, I was a vegan.  No animal products whatsoever.  Two years later, after a single day of basic training in the army during which I had very little to eat, I started eating eggs and milk products.  Five years later, I resumed eating animal flesh.  By this time, both because of my dietary habits up until that point, and because of research and interest we'd taken into keeping a healthy kitchen, Michal was steadily heading towards becoming more and more vegan, while I was headed in the opposite direction.  Eventually we hit a balance that was good for both of us: no milk products (well, almost none.  Who can resist ice cream once in a while, and cheesecake on Shavuot, and...), because even if they don't have antibiotics and bovine growth hormones (say, if you want to spend twice the money and buy organic products), animal milk is not meant for humans!  Fish, poultry, beef -- sparingly, meaning about once a week and usually on Shabbat as well.  But sometimes I get cravings for foods we believe to be unhealthy, and while Michal's fierce Russian discipline keeps here from even wishing for such sinful foods, when I'm left to my own devices I like to treat myself to more animal products than the usual.  So this Shabbat I prepared a 2-cheese lasagna for myself and the kids (Michal makes an incredible meaty lasagna.  Ask her for the recipe).  It was delicious, and felt satisfyingly guilty as well.